Monochrome
by SliverOfHope
Summary: Preview: "Not everything is black and white." ... "It was black and white, easily defined. Silver, however, was not." Rated T for content. Kotone's POV.


_**Author's notes**: Woo, okay. Wow. I've been working on this for... three months? Four months? Something ridiculous. I finally got this done. FINALLY. Holy crap._

_Anyway..._  
_This is **rated T** for reasons._  
_It's written in **1st POV. Kotone's**, actually._  
_It is **angsty at parts**._  
_**I don't own Kotone or Silver or Crystal or Gold or Giovanni or any of the Pokémon and items mentioned. They all belongs to the creators and Game Freak**_  
_I don't really know if this would be gameverse or not. Perhaps and **AU gameverse? **Who knows._

_Please tell me what you thought! ;D I really worked hard on this, so I'd appreciate some feedback. ^o^ (Even if it's just a fav or whatever.)_

_If you see anything that looks wrong or is spelled incorrectly, tell me and I'll fix is ASAP. :]_

* * *

Not everything is black and white. I've learned that throughout my Pokémon journey. Some things just can't be separated into categories like school grades and Pokémon levels; some things like time, personality, and distance. Distance is the biggest issue with most people. Sure, time can be against a person and personalities sometimes don't mesh, but distance is the most important of the three. Distance was also my biggest problem.

There's the distance away from home and my mom, and there's the distance that Gold can't seem to grasp whenever he's around Crystal. However, the worst type of distance is the one that involves two people who used to be very close, and now… well I was pretty sure we were in the grey area. How did I know? Because the black area is being so very far apart while the white is being very, very close together. But at the time, I had no idea what the heck we were, hence the grey. And yeah, it'd be spectacular if the world was definite and drawn-out perfectly, but unfortunately for me – and for my heart – it was never that easy. It never was, and never will be.

Now some people would say to me, "Oh, but you're the Champion of two regions, Kotone!" or, "Oh, but you've single-handedly taken down Team Rocket, Kotone! So why are you having relationship troubles?" Well, because all of that was easy compared to that horrid sense of loss. It was black and white, easily defined. Silver, however, was not.

At first, he was cold and cruel and didn't care about anyone but himself (his black), but as he continued on his journey, he became warmer and kinder with the help of others (his white). But apparently, that all made him a dull shade of gloomy grey. The worst part was, there was nothing I could do about it. Silver grew apart from me, but I never grew apart from him.

So instead of training my team as usual, I was moping and being depressing somewhere on route 205 in the Sinnoh region.

As if sensing my sadness, my Typhlosion grumbled at me and rested his moss green head in my lap. I sighed and pet it absentmindedly, watching my Arcanine and Pichu chase after my Hypno in a game of tag. Their happy cries didn't reach my ears, even when my Dodrio's three heads dipped down to squawk at me, wondering what was wrong. Unexpectedly, Typhlosion lurched up, flames spouting from his back. Dodrio's sparring heads whipped around and the rest of my team stilled.

I instantly stood, heeding my Pokémon's growls. My hand moved over the purple-coated pokéball still attached to my waist, ready to call on the legendary Ho-oh's help. The trees nearer to my left started to shiver while my jaw tensed without my permission. I inhaled and braced myself for an attack.

What came instead was a striking flash of red hair and a pair of startlingly silver eyes. My emotions to the newcomer must have transferred to my Pokémon because Typhlosion began to growl menacingly and all three of Dodrio's heads squawked angrily.

Without batting an eyelash, the newcomer sent out his Feraligatr and Honchkrow. The four Pokemon shuffled to face each other and prepare for a command to attack. Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed the rest of my team looming in the background, gauging whether or not they were needed at the moment. I motioned to them to relax then called out two attacks. "Tri Attack! Eruption!" My Pokémon were quick on the offensive and launched their attacks almost immediately after I said them. My opponent was skilled, however, and his command nullified mine. A spurt of fast-flowing water and a Dark Pulse deflected my Pokémon's attacks, causing them to shoot off into the surrounding trees. I hoped that there weren't any stray fishermen vying for a prized catch on the docks nearby. A giant boom sounded, and the night went from black to white then to black again as the four attacks collided.

Before I recovered from the lights basically describing the story of my life- the shock of which made my eyes burn and heart ache- Feraligatr's trainer called out "Aqua Tail!" The attack hit Typhlosion before either of us could react. He fell, fainted in one powerful hit. Great. I had no revives or potions on hand.

"Dodrio, use Drill Peck!"

"Counter it with Night Slash!"

Dodrio's attack missed, and he received Honchkrow's attack head on. Dodrio flew back, heads over heels, and rammed into a tree. Cruelly, Honchkrow's trainer commanded it to use Dark Pulse once more.

"Come on Dodrio! Hit 'em with Tri Attack!" However, it was in vain. Dodrio couldn't move fast enough and the Dark Pulse hit directly. Dodrio fainted and I returned both him and Typhlosion to their pokéballs.

My opponent said nothing as he waited for me to send out my next two Pokémon. I looked at my team, head swimming as I tried to come up with a decent battle strategy with who I had. However, as my team faced my way, a brave look on their faces, I couldn't bring myself to risk their safety because my ridiculous ex-boyfriend was being inane and cruel. As soon as I realized this, my chest started to clench, bringing back horrible memories of my first Pokémon journey through Johto and how it ended years later with Silver and I arguing and splitting. Of course, my anger was refueled.

"You know what, Silver?" I asked, smirking. I turned around, clenching my fist, my other hand creeping down to the lone pokéball on my hip.

"What?" His voice came out monotone and dull, much unlike when I first met him when he was more angry and exasperated. That was odd.

"You're the most temperamental frustrating person I know. Oh, and I'm going to beat you." With that, I sent out my strongest teammate, Ho-oh. The great fiery bird Pokémon exploded from his pokéball in a rush of heat and flames. The caw from his beak was loud and intimidating, but the gentle look in his eyes toned down his scary factor. His wings stretched to their full extent, glimmering with the power the legendary bird had. His talons flexed, prepping for battle.

Silver's expression didn't alter in the slightest, but he returned Honchkrow in exchange for Crobat.

"Ho-oh, use Sacred Fire! Hit everything!" I called out. Ho-oh nodded, a hint of excitement lighting up his eyes, and flew up high. He released a burst of scorching, spiraling flames towards Crobat and Feraligatr. The heat was intense and I began to sweat because of it. I thought that Sacred Fire would be a direct hit and cause Crobat to faint, but Silver had a counterattack planned for almost everything I did.

A Hydro Pump and an Air Slash blasted a hole in the spiraling column of flames, deflecting the brunt of the attack away. I snarled in frustration. Why couldn't I break through Silver's defenses?

"Use Fly on Feraligatr!"

Ho-oh zoomed down at lightning speed towards the cerulean reptile, back glimmering vibrantly and expansive wings marvelously streaking colors back into the sky. The entire spectacle lasted only a few seconds, it was so abrupt, and Ho-oh collided into Feraligatr with a colossal amount of force. The expression on Silver's face was shocked as he watched Feraligatr fly back and faint in a hit. I tried not to be smug.

"Still want to continue?" I grinned, twirling my right pigtail around.

Red hair fell and shadowed Silver's face as he responded. "No, you win." Crobat looked at him, twittering loudly, but Silver simply shook his head at it and returned his Pokémon. He approached me, reaching into his jacket pocket to pull out my prize money.

"Pi!" Pichu squeaked. She scampered up to Silver and climbed up to perch cutely on his shoulder. I was pretty sure she knew about my hostile emotions to him, so I wasn't sure why she chose to be friendly towards him. I glared at her, but she just scratched her spiky ear at me. Little brat.

"Here." Silver handed me what seemed to be the remaining amount of travel money he had with him. I almost told him to keep it because he would need it more, but a spiteful part of me argued and told me to take it. I did. I had to pretend that I didn't see the forlorn expression on Silver's face as I pocketed my prize money. Pichu cooed and ruffled Silver's hair a bit before hopping down and rejoining the rest of my team.

Silver began to walk away without a word. I wouldn't let him leave just as suddenly as he came. "Why'd you want to battle me?" I left off the 'even though you knew you'd lose' part. He mumbled something quickly. I didn't understand what he said. "You have to speak up."

Another mumble, and I rolled my eyes, waiting for Silver to turn around so he wasn't talking into the wind. It took so long that my team, already tired from traveling, started to doze off. Even Pichu, as hyperactive as she was, fell asleep out on me. When the breeze started to wane, the trees of the forest standing up from a stoop, and the soft snores of my Pokémon could be heard, Silver decided to speak up. His voice was soft and raspy from disuse in a non-battling environment.

"I just wanted to see you again." His fists tightened ever so slightly.

"What? You're the one who started to close off from the rest of the world. If you wanted to see me more often, you shouldn't have…" I trailed off, feeling tears gather in my eyes. I was _not_ going to cry. Silver looked oat me quizzically, probably wondering when I was going to continue. "You shouldn't have faded to grey."

Something must have clicked in Silver's brain because he advanced towards me, pulling me to his chest, and encircling me in his arms. I let my tears fall. Silver said nothing. He just held me. It was exactly the type of comforting I needed. I lost track of the time, but I saw the wisps of dawn make its way in, and the Kricketune that were playing a sweet melody quieted and retreated away.

I clung to Silver's jacket tightly even when his arms fell away from my body. His scent invaded my nostrils, spicy and soothing, and I refused to give him up now after so long of not having him near me. It almost hurt to think about pulling away from him, so I held on tighter, never wanting to let go. I could have turned to stone with him and I wouldn't have minded in the least, just as long as I could be with him.

His hand caressed my neck and back, calming me. A soft breeze made some of his hair tickle my forehead and nose. Time seemed to stop. His breathing was in sync with mine, and his heart beat loud and strong. I nudged my face into the crook between Silver's neck and shoulder.

"Your hat fell on the ground and is getting dirty."

That sentence seemed to snap me back to reality, and I gasped, shrugging away from Silver and his entrancing touch. I stumbled and caught myself. I grabbed my hat off of the ground. I didn't even notice it come off of me. It might've been knocked off in the battle or when I practically threw myself at Silver. It was so tactless and tasteless of me. I was like the clingy ex-girlfriend who kept trying to get back with their ex even though their relationship was so far beyond repair, even a relationship counselor couldn't get them to look at each other.

I walked over and put my hat on Hypno's sleeping head. I almost laughed because she looked so adorable, but Silver's oppressive presence prevented me from doing so. My brain was yelling at me, saying to make him go away, but my heart, in a delicate whisper, told me to let him stay. In the end, my heart won out, though just barely. I said nothing. I merely fidgeted with my bag, trying my best to ignore Silver. I knew he was still behind me, watching and waiting patiently.

"Kotone." Silver's voice was like the audio equivalent of chocolate to my ears. His sweet voice, the one I came to know much later in our tender friendship, was so reassuring and calming, that I almost turned to look at him and denounce my internal agreement to ignore him. I resisted. "Fine, if you aren't going to look at me, then at least listen to me."

I just fussed over the order of my full heals and moomoo milks.

"The reason I became so distant is because of my father. He tried pulling me into his despicable team as an executive. I said no, but he wouldn't take no for an answer, so we had to battle. I lost. I had to go through this awful training, Kotone. I can't even begin to tell you how many innocent Pokémon I hurt because I didn't want to die. Did you hear me? I didn't want to _die. _It was either join or die, said my father, and I was a weakling. I was scared, and I chose wrong. I hurt people and Pokémon alike. I hated myself for it. I couldn't bear to be with you any longer. You were the one who stood for justice and peace and compassion. I couldn't live under your banner like that anymore. I had to leave."

I stopped what I was doing and listened, completely in shock. I didn't even know what to say.

"Kotone, please, I need you to heal me. I need you to fix me." Silver's voice quieted, and I could hear the pain of the last year or so in his tone. "I need you to help me forget."

I swallowed. "How'd you get away?"

Silver's response was immediate. "I ran. I took my Pokémon, freed the imprisoned ones, healed the injured ones, and ran with them all. We're all free now."

"And what about Giovanni?"

"The authorities caught wind of his plans. He's sentenced to death now."

I finally turned around and looked at him. "And you? Are you a criminal in their eyes?"

A tiny look of relief graced Silver's features. "No, they're not holding me accountable. They said because I was tortured into doing the things I did, I was innocent. It doesn't make me feel any less like scum though. I already know that I'm dammed because of all this."

Silver's pain was so severe, his voice cracked. His anger and sadness were palpable. I couldn't ignore him any longer. I stood and walked to him. Grabbing his hands in mine, I looked him dead in the eyes.

"Silver, I promise to help you get through this as long as you promise never to leave me without a word again."

He nodded, pulling me closer to him. We stood like that for a while, just basking in each other's warmth and security. I'd help him recover. I'd help him see the white that I began to see again. I'd help him banish the black away forever. There would be no grey for us, never again.

Black. White. Grey. It was all monochrome in the end.


End file.
